I was born on a cradle just like any other child was, but born into a world where I seem not to be sure if i was being raised and groomed by strangers or my biological parents. I just grew to be a young girl guided by my own virtues and morals, but misguided by negligence. I was shown a faint love from the woman said to be my “mother”, but exposed to so much feeling of contempt and despise from the man who i can not really fathom is my father.
From age 5, I’ve been exposed to street hawking which i did for my mother at school hours, and i only go back home when i’m done with the sales of bread. I so much had shares of ill-treatments from the people I called ‘parents’ , denying me of all my child rights. On a fateful evening, just like some days after my 6th year birthday, I was in a deep sleep when I started having an amiss-sensation all over my body, and only to open my eyes to see my ‘supposed father’ caressing my body. I got dazed and apprehensive at that point with the thought of what has a man who shows me nothing but hatred got to do with me at this odd time, and most especially my body? I wanted to shout, but he conquered my yells saying “I will suffocate you if you make a noise”. With so much force on me, he stripped me off and forced himself on me; which I felt a hell on earth experience that night with my mother deeply asleep in her room.
That was the night I started feeling an awful chimera of myself. He threatened me not to tell anyone else, I’m dead. I sobbed throughout the night wishing for death to come, but it seemed so far from me. After the beasty deed on me, my “supposed father” cleaned me up immediately and even the bed spread, in a bid to forestall my mother suspecting a foul. He also got me some pills very early the following morning to ease me off the bleeds and pains I was going through. That night was the beginning of the end for me as i was wickedly launched into the world of womanhood, even when I was still languishing in the downcast of my childhood.
This cycle continued as it had been street hawking in the day for my mother, and incarcerated molestation by my “supposed father” most nights. You all might be wondering why i’ve been quoting the status of the man as my “supposed father”. This was because at the brink of him sexually assaulting me that first night, as I was pleading with him that he is my father and shouldn’t do such to me, all he said was “I’m not your father neither are you even my relative”. It was at this juncture that my resolution got weakened, and I have got to realise that I’m just between the Devil and the red sea.
I later started school at age 7, and this sexual exhumption continued for years unknowingly to my mother as I was scared of telling her. At that time, I got exposed to different drugs by my ” supposed father” to forestall if pregnancy might arises or even a sexually transmitted infection. I was doing the street hawkings for my mother after school hours and still getting very sexually abused almost everyday.
On a fateful night, while my “supposed father” was having his normal routine on me, my mother entered my room abruptly seeing her husband pants down on me. She didn’t want to listen to my explanations, as she believed my “supposed father” who claimed I seduced and lured him with my conspicuous physique and revealing dress mode. I was thrown out into the cold that very night with nothing. On my wandering about that same night, I heard the horn of a car honking and the car parked beside me. The man inside the car asked where I an heading to at that odd hour, but I answered him by saying “nowhere”. He stretched out his helping hand to take me to somewhere safe which I declined at first, but after sometime of persuasion and pestering, I gave in for his help. On getting to his place with no hesitation, he wanted to give me another check of sexual assault, fortunately-unfortunately I immediately sighted a sharp-shaped bottle opener which I managed to stab him with on the neck and ran out of his house.
From that night, my hatred and rancor for men really grew bizarre, and I wished I could wipe off the whole men out from the face of the earth. I was living with so much fury in me, and especially towards men’s world. I was later taken up by some couple who attends the church I lived in for solace after hearing my malignant ordeal. The family humongously took care of me with my academics as no exception. I later graduated to be a chartered accountant with distinction, and credits given to God and the family who took me in.
In a short while, I met a man who showed me great love, and we became so fond of each other. We started making common thoughts and picturing the future together. The month is fast approaching and days counting to our wedding ceremony that things seemed very perfect for and between us, even with the clandestine horrific experience of my past still eating my heart up. Two days to our wedding, my fiancé and I were having a recluse moment of love with just a kiss which have always been the only romantic turn I’ve allowed him. Suddenly, he just started caressing my body and fondling my breasts which I blatantly asked him to stop, but he didn’t, as his moves were flashing me back to my molestation days. This untamed acts of his got me haywire and red that before I could say ‘Jack’, I have impulsely landed a bottle of wine we were drinking on his head. He went unconscious at the instant with a fountain of blood springing out of his head. I and his security guard rushed him to the hospital where he was later pronounced and certified dead by the doctor. His family took my case up to the police station where I was arrested and charged for murder.
I was hired an attorney by my foster parents to defend my case in court. But on getting to the courtroom, I was phlegmatic about my pleas whether being guilty or not, as I was mute due to my bewilderment at the court proceedings. My attorney later told the court that it was an accident, and the court should grant me bail on some medical terms. I was later taken to a psychiatric hospital where I was tested and inferred with an acute mental dysfunction. The presiding judge on my case later gave a verdict that I should be kept in the asylum for a close watch and treatment. I profoundly love him but he is a semblance of my past.
Rape kills dreams and destroy lives.
Save the girl folks, because they are not flowers.